he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
