great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
