That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
