she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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