she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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