I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
