Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
