we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
