some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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