Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
