He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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