I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Operation Purity has been aborted
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
