$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
