My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
