Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize