dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
