I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
