We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
