I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
