Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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