The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
