i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish there were birth control emojis
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
