I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
