Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Holy shit dude........stairs
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
