You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
