People in love make me want to vomit
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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