I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize