Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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