i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
