He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
