I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
