Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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