There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize