It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
