haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
