i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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