Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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