Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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