have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
