Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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