His apartment number was 69. I had to.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
