Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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