Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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