She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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