remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
