i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
