bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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