Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
