Me. At least after what I've been through.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
