she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
