I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
