Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
