so explain again why im purple
no
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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