Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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