Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i barfeds in our rink
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
