I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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